Men As Providers

FORGET NONE OF HIS BENEFITS
volume 24, number 7, February13, 2025

Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, Genesis 1:28.

What is Biblical manhood? What are the characteristics? I am finding much confusion concerning this matter, and I am seeking to bring some clarity to the issue. What I have been writing and preaching of late seems to be resonating with both men and women. I have noted four characteristics of men, drawn mainly from Genesis 1:26-28, which hopefully can keep us from diverting to either effeminacy on the one hand or toxic masculinity on the other. These four characteristics are men as propagators (we looked at this last week), providers, rulers, and warriors. Today I wish to focus on men as providers. 

Since God’s so called creation mandate occurred before the fall into sin, this means it applies to every man in every nation and culture. God has hardwired men for sex, power, and money which all aid him in his God ordained role as propagator, provider, ruler, and warrior. To be sure, the call to be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth is speaking of procreating the human race but it also has the idea of providing for those children he brings into the world with his wife. Men are made for this. That’s why men love to compete. That’s why they like to win in everything they do. This is nature, not nurture. 

Keep in mind that God’s grand design for a man and woman in marriage is a Christian household, that is, a culture grounded on the word of God for their children and their children’s children for many generations. So then, how are men to provide for their households? Obviously this begins with the husband’s role to provide for his wife spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, physically, and financially. Paul the apostle directs man to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her and to care for her as a man does for his own body, that she should be holy and blameless (Eph.5:25-30). He is also to live with her in an understanding way because she is the weaker vessel (1 Pet.3:7). Paul also reminds Timothy that if a man does not provide for his own, especially those of his own household, then he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1Tim.5:8). He also, as the spiritual head of his family, is to take on the added responsibility to rear his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph.6:4). He is to instruct his sons in how to navigate the treacherous waters of sex (Prov.5:15-19) and the importance of properly handing money and developing a strong work ethic (Prov.10:4,5,12:27). 

A godly man, therefore, will use his aggressive and competitive nature “to take the bull by the horns” and provide spiritual care for his family. He will be a watchman on the wall, making sure to protect his household from theological heresy and to guard them from unsavory, godless, and wicked people who seek to draw them away from simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. Due to Adam’s fall into sin, man’s fallen nature tends toward acquiescing, giving up his responsibility to provide and to leave this to his wife. And due to the effects of the fall into sin on women, they are too often very eager to assume the man’s role. 

Man is to provide financially for his family. It is not the wife’s job to be the breadwinner in the family. I am not saying that women cannot work outside the home, but I am saying their primary responsibility is to be a worker at home, to bring up children, and to submit to her husband (Titus 2:5, 1Tim.5:14). When a woman is the primary bread winner in the family and the man stays home to rear the children this rarely succeeds. Men instinctively know they should be out earning the paycheck and when they do not assume this responsibility they very often feel emasculated. Surely women can supplement the family’s financial needs. There is evidence of this in the so called “Proverbs 31” woman. My wife worked only briefly as a teacher when we first married but since then has stayed home rearing our children and helping me in ministry. At the same time she has a keen insight into Real Estate and has helped our family very significantly in this regard. She would, however, say that her primary role has always been toward rearing our children, spending time influencing our grandchildren, discipling women, and serving as a pastor’s wife, freeing me to travel the world preaching and teaching the gospel. 

A man is to provide for his family emotionally. We know that depression is a major issue in today’s world and no doubt there are many reasons for it, but a man who fails to consider his wife’s emotional needs, if he is distant and non-communicative, then he may find his wife struggling as she gets older and the years of neglect continue to grow. We also know young teens increasingly have mental health issues. A godly father will be vigilant and look for signs of difficulty and seek to address them Biblically. He longs to see his wife as a fruitful vine in his house and his children flourish as olive plants around his table (Ps.128:3).

A godly husband and father will also provide for his family intellectually. He will encourage his children to pursue learning while always submitting their minds and intellect to Scripture first. He will make sure they are given a quality education. This does not necessarily mean a Christian school or homeschooling education is necessary. Not every family can afford the cost of a private Christian school education and we should face the reality that not all Christian schools are necessarily stellar, academically or spiritually. Homeschooling is not always a good option either. I am in awe of women who homeschool their children. The time commitment and sheer mental and physical demand is astonishing. If mom can do it, then great, but not all moms are suited for it and those who are not should not feel guilty for not offering this for their children. But if a father has his children enrolled in public schools he must do so with his eyes open to the fact that even if teachers and administrators are Christian the fact remains that such schools have a godless, man-centered philosophy that militates against a Christian worldview. Therefore fathers must be vigilant in making sure their children gain the Christian worldview so essential to their ability to flourish and for the Christian household to move forward. 

The man is also to provide for his family physically. Both boys and girls need to learn a work ethic which includes family chores and regular exercise. Boys especially need to play outside in the dirt. They need regular, daily exercise. I remember speaking with a really good high school basketball player who grew up in the “hood” and he says he learned his expertise by playing basketball all day long on an outside court. He said he can drive through neighborhoods now and see very few kids on the courts. They, instead, are indoors playing video games. It is a proven scientific fact that strenuous daily exercise releases endorphins in the body which act as God’s natural, anti-depressant medication. Dads need to make sure their kids engage in some kind of daily, physical exercise. 

Dads need to make sure also their kids learn how to assume responsibility. The brightest kids are those whose parents do not answer all the questions but who urge them to dig for the answers. Kids who have parents who do everything for them often grow up weak and unable to face hardship and disappointment. A godly father will provide for his children by not giving them a lot of money but instead will urge them to get a part time job for their own spending money. Our sons all worked in high school and college. When they were around twelve years old I also remember taking them to the grocery store to buy candy bars and soft drinks and then teaching them how to approach local construction workers in hopes of being able to sell them candy and soft drinks. In other words, I was teaching them how to make sales calls and this helped prepare them for their current careers.  

Fathers do not have the luxury of coming home after work and sitting in front of the television all night. When they walk through their front door their job as provider continues. 

Men, are you fulfilling your identity as the provider for your household? What changes, if any, do you need to make?